Mourning in the 19th Century

By Jeannine Schaub

2005

Mourning or expression of grief has been a part of humanity since the beginning of time. In 19th century America, death was a part of daily life, and Victorians, in general, did not fear it. It was viewed as a release from life’s cares, and salvation was the reward. Victorians did fear that their deaths would not be mourned.

When death came to Terrace Hill, it was the drawing room that received the deceased and the coffin. The room with the spectacular crystal chandelier was likely emptied of much of its furniture to make room for friends and relatives calling to pay their respects.

Following the customs of the time, the home was darkened and crape draped on the front door. The public floor of the home was likely draped with crape, mirrors and windows were covered, and clocks were stopped at the hour of the death. Crape, a silk fabric treated so that it was totally without luster, was tied with ribbons, black for adults and white for children. The corpse was laid out in the room, and vigil was kept 24 hours a day until the burial, which was held one to four days later. Candles were lighted around the room, and flowers brought in.

Entire families, even the servants, mourned the deceased, and most funerals were held at home, not in a church.

“Nothing in our country is more undecided in the public mind than the etiquette of mourning,” wrote Harpers Bazaar in 1886. “It has not yet received that hereditary and positive character which makes the slightest departure from received custom so reprehensible in England.”

Still, Americans of taste and substance did follow the rules. Women wore mourning black as evidence affection for the dead. Men wore mourning attire as a mark of respect.

Both donned black, with widows following the strictest mourning period. For a year and a day, the widow was in deep mourning, wearing a black dress and mantle of bombazine, a mixture of silk and wool. The dress had to be almost completely covered with crape. She wore a mourning bonnet with a widows cap and veil. In another six months, she could replace the crape-covered dress with one of silk. Two years after her husbands death, the widow went into half mourning, allowing her to wear gray, lavender, pearls and amethysts.

Society did not demand the same of men. They wore a black suit, their usual business attire, and a mourning band on the sleeve of their coats for about six months after the funeral. They attended social functions much sooner than a woman could, without criticism from friends and acquaintances.

The ritual use of mourning clothing continued well into the 20th century. It decreased gradually as psychologists advocated shorter periods of time to grieve. Mourning clothing eventually was limited to the funeral service.

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